Buzz's Poke'mon Bar: The Wasted'mon
by Vulpix of the Looney Bin
Summary: Warning: Drunken poke'mon, beware of violence, rowdy drunken balllads, and of courseextreame stupidity! For those of you who were concerned, I'm not dead, to the joy of most and sorrow of a few ^_^ I've been gounded for a VERY LONG TIME!!! I'VE BEEN MISSI
1. Playin' Poker

  
  
  
I got the Idea for this while playing cards with Pikachoo.   
If you've read 'Fire in my Heart, Fire in my Soul' you'll know more  
about Buzz.  
  
  
It's late at night, in a bar. The counter is occipied by a  
Raichu, who is wearing an old fassioned bar tender's outfit, and is  
carefully cleaning out a shot glass. A pool table and a few card tables  
with many diffrent sized chairs and stools. A flickering neon sign  
outside reads "Buzz's Poke'mon bar"  
Two shadowed forms entered and took seats at one of card tables.  
As they enter the light, they reveil that they are...  
PIKACHU AND TOGAPI!!!  
  
Buzz: How hard was it to get away tonight?  
  
Pikachu: I thaught Ash would never get to sleep!  
  
Buzz: (looking at Togapi) You look under-age...  
  
Togapi: And?  
  
Buzz: Ummm... (o^.^o);  
  
Then two more shadowed figures entered, turning out to be  
SQUIRTLE and CHARIZARD!!!!!!  
  
Charizard: Hey! What are you doing here!?  
  
Pikachu: Ummmm... nothing! What are YOU doing here?  
  
Squirtle: Ummm... also nothing...  
  
Pikachu: Okay then....  
  
*Embaressed Silence*  
  
Yet another shadowed figure enters.  
  
Vulpix: This is going to be great! I'm going to get so... ACK! What  
are you all doing here!   
  
Pikachu: Nothing! What are you....  
  
Togapi: (clamping hand over Pikachu's mouth) WE ALL CAME HERE FOR THE  
SAME REASON!!! TO PLAY CARDS, PLAY POOL, GET DRUNK, AND POSSIBLY SNAG  
A BABE!!!  
  
Vulpix: In my case a dude ^_^  
  
Meowth: In my case a cutie Meowth gal!  
  
Squirtle: When did you get here?  
  
Buzz: Gosh! Meowth practicly *lives* here!  
  
Charizard: Whatever, let's play cards!  
  
Squirtle: Go Fish!  
  
Vulpix: Gin Rummy!  
  
Pikachu: Hearts!  
  
Togapi: Constapation!!!  
  
Charizard: Monkey in the middle!  
  
*Everyone stares*  
  
Charizard: Or MABEY not ... -;  
  
Meowth: It's CONCENTRATION!!! NOT CONSTAPATION!!! Monkey in the middle  
isn't even a *card* game!  
  
Pikachu: Than what should we play?  
  
Meowth: HIGH STAKES POKER!!!  
  
All exept for buzz sit down at a card table. Meowth deals each  
person their cards all look at their hands.  
  
Charizard: Ooooo!! I think I got a good one!  
  
Squirtle: Let me see!  
  
Meowth: Your not supposed to look at eachother's cards!!!  
  
Charizard: Fine then, *be* a spoilt sport.  
  
Vulpix: Somebody forgot his cat nap.  
  
*5 Rounds Later*  
  
Pikachu: Alright Vulpix, just you and me.  
  
Meowth: I still can't believe I had to fold on the first round..  
  
Charizard: (Wacks Meowth on the head) Quit moping! It's getting on my  
nerves!  
  
Vulpix: Alright you in Pikachu?  
  
Pikachu: You bet! ... Argh! I don't have any more money!  
  
Vulpix:Well, you could,  
**whisper whisper** ...  
  
Pikachu: Uhuh... okay...That dosn't sound too bad!  
  
Vulpix: Alright Vermint, what cha' got?  
  
Pikachu: (Looking proud) Straight! Beat that Foxy!  
  
Vulpix: (Grinning Evily) ROYAL FLUSH!!!   
  
Pikachu: Ahhhhh!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Togapi: What did he have to do?  
  
Vulpix: Kiss the next thing that walks through that door.  
  
To speak of the devil, a shadowed figure started to enter   
through the door. Pikachu shut his eyes, ran up and smacked TRACEY   
on the lips!!!  
  
Tracey: AHhhhhhh!!!!! HELP!!! I'VE BEEN VIOLATED!!!  
I'M BEING MOLESTED!!!  
  
Tracey ran from the bar, and not two seconds afterwards,  
sevral gunshots we're heard.  
  
Voice One: Yes we got him!  
  
Voice Two: Exellent shot V7!  
  
Voice One: You didn't do too badly yourself Nine2001.  
  
Buzz: (Shaking head) This neiborhood gets worse and worse...  
  
  
  
  
This is fun to write, as soon as I can I'll work on the next  
part ^_^ I appriciate reveiws, so if you liked it, let me know! 


	2. Playin' Pool

  
  
Here is part two, Playing Pool!  
  
Pikachu: GOD!!! I kissed Tracey!! I'm going to get Key Lime! Or Rabies!!!   
*Pikachu Goes to the bathroom to toss his cookies*  
  
Vulpix: What do we do next?  
  
Charizard: MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE!!!!  
  
Meowth: How many times do I has to tell ya, MONKEY IN DA MIDDLE IS NOT A GAME YA PLAY IN A BAR!!!  
  
Charizard: *Punches Meowth* Whan I want your opinion I'll ask for it!  
  
Togapi: You IDIOTS!!! Next we play...  
  
Charizard: MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE!!!!  
  
Togapi: NO YOU IMBASILLE!!!! POOL!!!  
  
Squirtle: Yah! Swimming!  
  
Charizard: *Wacks Squirtle on the head* Don't be dumb!  
  
Meowth: We use these here sticks to wack da balls around. *Hand all of them their Pool sticks*  
  
Vulpix: Ack! It's too big! *Her Pool stick tips over and wacks Meowth on the noggin*  
  
Meowth: Quit hittin' me already!  
  
Sqirtle: I go first! *carefully hits the white ball into the pack of balls making the 8 ball go in*  
YAHAOOOOOO!!! Eight points!  
  
Charizard: *Hits the 9 ball in* YA! Nine points!  
  
Togapi: YOU IDIOTS!!! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PLAY!!!  
  
Charizard: Shut up before I scramble you!  
  
Vulpix: *Wack* SIX POINTS!  
  
Pikachu: I think I have Tracey desease *spazes out*  
  
Charizard: *Wacks Pikachu over the head knocking him unconcious* Quiet you.  
  
Squirtle: *clack* Eleven!  
  
Charizard: *Clack* Two!  
  
Vulpix: *click* Seventy-Five!  
  
Togapi: THIS IS STUPID!!! YOUR ALL IDIOTS!!!  
  
Squirtle: Hey look! I can balence the balls on my head!  
  
Vulpix: Hey look! *Puts them in her eyes, You know like people put quarters over their eyes  
and squint so it stays* I'M AN ALIAN!!!  
  
Charizard: *sticks five balls in his mouth* Mhmph!!  
  
Togapi: ARGH!!! STOP IT!!!  
  
Pikachu: *Regains conciousness* Help Meeeee!!!!  
  
Charizard: SHADUP! *Knocks Pikachu out again*  
  
  
  
  
Hee hee... next we all get drunk.... Good times peeps =) 


	3. Gettin' Drunk

  
  
I love writting this! it's sooo much fun to write. Next all the poke'mon get drunk.  
I don't encourage *people* getting drunk, but when poke'mon do it it's funny. This is where   
the PG13 rating comes in.... Hee hee hee! And for whoever asked, NO this is not going to be a  
lemon fic! Big Big Mew would murderize me! She probibly already is if you see her reveiws!  
  
  
Togapi: Ug, I need a drink... *sits on bar stool*  
  
Buzz: What can I get you?  
  
Togapi: A bloody mary, heavy on the vodka.  
  
Buzz: Here you go.  
  
Squirtle: I'll have a gin and tonic.  
  
Meowth: Just get me a Bud.  
  
Pikachu: Charona, with lime.  
  
Vulpix: Strawberry margarita.  
  
Charizard: Lemonade!  
  
*Everybody stares*  
  
Charizard: Fine fine, BE party poopers.  
  
Pikachu: *Raises Bottle* To our trainers, may we help them achieve their dreams!  
  
*Momentary Silence*  
  
All: BWAHAHAHAA!!!  
  
Vulpix: Hee hee... that's a good one.  
  
Pikachu: Okay, Seriously this time, to us, may we soon be retired so we can live at a breeding  
farm full of luscious babes!  
  
Meowth: Woohoo!  
  
Squirtle: Amen to that!  
  
*Drink.... Refill*  
  
Charizard: To Banana cream pies, God knows where we'd be with out them!  
  
All: To Bananas!  
  
(A/N: You can tell they're getting tipsy when they toast to Banana cream pies ^_^)  
  
*Drink ...Refill*  
  
Squirtle: To *hiccup* Team Rocket, without the bad guys, we would never have good plot!  
  
Meowth: Thanks man, *throws arm around Squirtle* I *Hiccup* love you'se guys.  
  
(A/N: Wow! Now something is definitely wrong!)  
  
*Several Minutes.... and who knows how many drinks later...*  
  
Pikachu: Anyway, I was surrounded, by *hiccup* 200 Onixs... no 4.... maybe one... anyways this  
wacko music starts, and all 13 of em' start doin' da Macarena...  
  
Vulpix: No! It was dat *Hiccup* one time when Bulbasaur was *Hiccup* hittin' on Chickarita...  
  
Pikachu: Yeah, and I *Hiccup* says, don't you touch my gal, and I thunderbolted that no good   
rosebush so hard it started doin' da Macarena...  
  
Charizard: *wings outspread and running around* WEEEEEEEE!!!! I CAN FLYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
Togapi: *Hiccup* Dangit Charizard, have you been getting into my weed again?  
  
Meowth: You *hiccup* have weed?  
  
Togapi: Yeah, *Lights up the flower end of a dandylion* I got weed... *starts smoking it*  
  
Buzz: (The only sober one here!) Ummm... I think you guys are a little over drunk.  
  
Squirtle: I *hiccup* ain't drunk, *stands on counter* Lookie! I can flyyyyy!!!   
*Jumps off counter flapping his arms, but lands face down on the floor still flapping his arms*  
I can fly I can fly I can fly...  
  
Charizard: Them's fight'n words! Put up your *hiccup* dukes!  
  
Meowth: You'se can't talk to my *hiccup* buddy like dat!  
  
Vulpix: Knock his block off Chari *hiccup* zard!  
  
Pikachu: Give him da *hiccup* ol'e one two Meowser!  
  
Squirtle: *Still on the floor flapping his arms* I can fly I can fly I can  
fly I can fly....  
  
Vulpix: *Looking evily at Togapi* I have a hanker'n for scrambled eggs...  
  
Togapi: What da ACK! *Runs away from Vulpix, but runs strait into a frying  
pan held by PIKACHU!!!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Togapi: ACK HELP!!!  
  
Vulpix: NO SCRAMBLED!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Vulpix: SCRAMBLED!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Squirtle: *Still on the floor...* I can fly I can fly I can fly I can fly....  
  
Charizard & Meowth: *Singing* I'd ride a spider for me auntie's cider,  
knock out a lizard and split his gizzard,  
wrestle a dragon for half a flagon,  
of nut brown beer!  
NUUUUUUUT BROOOOOOWN BEEEEEEEER!!!  
  
(A/N: For those of you who can't figure it out, THAT was a   
rowdy drunken ballad...)  
  
Vulpix: SCRAMBLED!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Vulpix: SCRAMBLED!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Togapi: HELP ME!  
  
Squirtle: *Yes, still on the floor...* I can fly I can fly   
I can fly I can fly....  
  
Charizard & Meowth: *More singing @_@* I'd sink a boat,  
crash a plane,  
call the Red Gyrados a dirty name,  
For a bottle of Grape Soda!  
GRAAAAAAAAPE SOOOOODAAAAA!!!!  
  
(A/N: Okay... I even have to ask myself...Where in the heck  
did that come from?)  
  
Squirtle: *Still... on... the floor...* I can fly I can fly I can fly  
I can fly....  
  
Vulpix: SCRAMBLED!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Vulpix: SCRAMBLED!  
  
Pikachu: SUNNY SIDE UP!  
  
Togapi: I need somemore weed! *Lights up another dandylion*  
  
Charizard & Meowth: *MORE SINGING* I'd eat a Zapdos,  
Kiss a Mr. Mime,  
Read a dirty book to kids before naptime,  
for Mountain Dew!  
MOOOOOUNTAIIIIIN DEEEEEEW!!!!  
  
Squirtle: *When will this guy get up?* I can fly I can fly I can fly  
I can fly....  
  
  
  
  
HOW TO WRITE YOUR OWN ROWDY DRUNKEN BALLAD...  
  
FIRST TWO LINES: Two things that are gross, stupid, dangerous or all three.  
  
Example: Smell a vileplume,  
smooch Tracey Skechit,   
  
THIRD LINE: Another Stupid/Gross/Dangeous/All Three thing that is kind of  
long, but the last word must kind of rhyme with last word in line two.  
  
Example: Hit a Mew with a bagmitten racquet,   
(Racquet kind of rhymes with Skechit)  
  
FORTH LINE: Some sort of Beverage, preferably alchohalic. Dosn't have  
to rhyme.  
  
Example: For a big ol'e Margarita!  
  
FITH LINE: Repeat forth line with florish.  
  
Example: MAAAARGAAAAARIIIIITAAAA!!!!  
  
  
SEND YOUR COMPLEATED BALLADS TO vulpix_777@hotmail.com!  
I'LL MAKE IT INTO A CONTEST OR SOMTHING! TRY THIS OUT PEEPS! IT'S LOADS  
OF FUN!!! I DON"T CARE IF YOU CURSE, BUT NO PROFANITY!  
  
  



End file.
